


Day Six: Flames

by mathgeek27



Series: Drabble a Day Challenge [6]
Category: drabble a day challenge - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-04-01 03:50:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4004740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mathgeek27/pseuds/mathgeek27





	Day Six: Flames

She felt scared, just as she always had. It started when she was young, too young to remember anything of our own. The age when memories are borrowed from the stories that our parents tell us. And still, then, she was scared. She asked her pops to please please please let her sleep in their bed, there were scary monsters out to get her. He said no, you need to sleep by yourself. So she slept on the floor, on her mom's side of the bed, using the dust ruffle as a blanket. It was cold and the floor was hard but this was as close to comfort as she was allowed.

She felt scared, just as she always had. She had been up late, watching medical dramas, despite being a hypochondriac. Her bed was a safe island in the middle of a sea of scary monsters. The scariest monsters of all, the monsters of disease. Her mom was just in the next room over, but she was ashamed to ask for comfort. It was still scary, still at age ninteen, and the embarrassment was pinning her in her bed.

-

She felt alone, just as she always had. Her brother had loads of friends; why did she have none? She tried to sneak down the stairs, but they heard her tiny feet creaking on the old wood and chased her away with their yells. She retreated to her bed, to re-read her favourite book or play with her fairies.

She felt alone, just as she always had. She spent her days wandering the too-big house, sleeping and reading and spending every hour as quickly as it would go. She hid things from people and then felt misunderstood when they misinterpreted her. She kept secrets and wondered why nobody asked how she felt. She was more dependent on them than they were on her.

-

She felt rotten inside, just as she always had. She didn't know that it was wrong, and she was just curious. But obviously her pops would know better, and so if he said she was a bad person for doing what she had done, then she was.

She felt rotten inside, just as she always had. The narrative that her father had given her had turned into a template by which she lived her life. She had rules from him that were hidden beneath the surface, controlling every decision she made. She was a bad, evil, rotten person. Her happiness mattered less than the happiness of those around her. She needed to put herself second, always always always. 

-

Just as she always had.


End file.
